Monday, September 28, 2020

Why not suppress your emotions?

October 29, 2019

Almost every child hears during his or her childhood such sentences as "don't be so sad", "it's not good for a boy to cry", "don't be ashamed" or "such a pretty girl, but she gets so angry". They are usually uttered by the people closest to us, parents, grandparents or older siblings. Unfortunately, this is how the child gets the message that his emotions are bad. Such a belief retains in adult life and adopts a strategy of suppressing feelings. Unfortunately, the consequences of this can be very serious.

Emotions are part of you

Not for bad or good feelings, they are only pleasant and unpleasant. Each of them says something about you, your inner feelings or reactions to external circumstances. Often such emotions as anger or anger can occur when someone tries to break your boundaries - for example, encourages you to drink alcohol when you do not feel like it. Therefore, it is not worth denying your emotions and denying them. It is good to be aware of them in order to act according to oneself and to be guided in life by one's own values and needs. Thanks to your knowledge of yourself you can be an authentic, spontaneous and assertive person.

What happens if the emotions are suppressed?

The emotions pushed into the subconscious will sooner or later be revealed. Often the result of suppression is a number of somatic symptoms. You may have to deal with insomnia, irritability, weakened libido, frequent mood changes or even depression, neurosis or anxiety. You can't fool an organism. If you act against yourself and contradict your feelings, sooner or later this behaviour will turn against you.

Suppression of emotions also increases the risk of falling into various types of addiction, such as alcoholism, drug addiction, tobacco addiction, sexaholism or pornography addiction. In this way, a person unaware of his or her emotions tries to relieve the inner tension. Addiction can result in serious illness, family breakdown or legal problems.

Muffled emotions and interpersonal relations

A person who suppresses his/her own feelings is also unable to enter into close emotional relations with other people. It will not be able to be authentic in its dealings with them, it may use violence or be a victim of manipulation. Accumulated and unspoken emotions often accumulate. In such a case, they may reveal themselves in the form of aggressive behaviour. In such a situation, we wonder what suddenly entered into the so far peaceful and orderly man.

How to express your emotions in a healthy way?

In order to prevent the negative effects of suppressing emotions, it is worth learning to express them properly. It's essential that you talk to a trusted person about them in real time. It could be a friend, a spouse or a psychologist. It is also worth to ask yourself at the end of each day, what feelings were present in me during the last 24 hours. If, for example, someone's words have caused me to be angry or frustrated, it is best to say so as soon as possible. The worst possible option is silence, which in the case of many relationships turns into quiet days, weeks or months.